A snarky listicle of mashups

Screen Shot 2015-08-29 at 3.56.48 PMSo it turns out these List Wednesday posts are an actual thing. I got this text from a friend over the weekend telling me it’s called a listicle. Who knew?

He went on to say that Joe Bunting (thewritepractice.com) did an informal survey on social media about what people think of when they hear the word listicle.

I don’t want to delve into that topic too much, but I do like a good portmanteau. In fact, I’m pretty sure I made up the word awesomtastic, even though the person who added it to urban dictionary in 2009 failed to give me proper credit. But I’m getting off track.

Since my blog is devoted to the listicle every Wednesday, and also because I want to let you know the suggestion box is always open (thanks to Brady Blair’s text and the corresponding Stuff Christians are Afraid to Admit), and most importantly, so  it will be a nontroversy on urban dictionary or in social circles when these words become part of everyday conversation…

Words that aren’t words, but should be words.

appendagoto  /əˈ pen dij oh toe/ (appendage + photo): when someone posts a picture on Facebook of her foot after a pedicure.

Considering how unsightly feet tend to be, I’m confused as to why there are so many appendagotos on the Interweb.

discombobipper /dis kuhbob’ ip per/ (discombobulated + worshipper): when you’ve never heard the song the worship leader is trying to get you to sing at church.

You can’t judge how well liked a new song will be on the first try by all the discombobippers whose lips aren’t moving. 

textafu /text uh foo/ (text + snafu): when you send a text to the wrong person.

I’m sorry about that textafu. I think you’re neat and everything, but I promise I meant to send that message to my husband.

dessertetour /dəˈ zərt eto͝or/ (dessert + detour): when you put on clothes to get on the treadmill but end up in the kitchen eating cookies instead.

I have great intentions to workout, but the dessertetour gets me every time.

miscalculaned /misˈ cal kyə lāned/ (miscalculated + lane): when you pick the wrong checkout line at the grocery store.

I picked the shortest line at checkout, but miscalculaned because the person in front of me had 52 coupons, two items required price checks, and it was the cashier’s first day on the job since cash register training.

purgatorent: /pərɡ ə tôr ənt/ (purgatory + parent): when your kids are almost fully grown but not yet ready to get married and give you grandchildren.

I think purgatorents are probably the most likely to post appendagotos, because, seriously, what else are we gonna post a picture of?

Now you try! Feel free to comment with your own made up, mashed up words so we can all chortle together.

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Aaron A

try these on for size:

introfear–(noun) the anxiety resident in each introvert who has to mingle at a social event.

intrometer–(noun) the internal meter that marks the amount of energy an introvert has to engage in social activity.

introghost–(verb) the innate ability for introverts to ghost in an out of social situations that have produced high levels of introfear and flatlined the intrometer.

Aaron A

these are some that i’ve said on accident because my brain hates me and my mouth just follows my brain’s orders:

grool–horrendous mixup of “cool” and “great”

cweet–embarrassing mix of “cool” and “sweet”

hillo–(pronounced as hi-low) mix of “hi” and “hello”

Croiss–(pronounced as croyce) a sad and confusing mix of “cross” and “Christ” from a recent sermon of mine…go on, why dontcha just take up your Croiss and follow?

Sandee

discombobapper /dis kuhm bob’ ap per/ (discombobulated + clapper): Similar to discombobipper. When the person standing next to you is rhythmically challenged and the worship leader says, “Let’s all clap as we sing our closing praise song.”

Sandee can barely contain her laughter as she watches her discombobapper husband attempt to keep the beat while singing the closing song at church.

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