Come on, Apple, think outside the box

I’m not one who would ever stand in line to be among the first to have something new. I’m too old to care about things like that. And I try not to live by comparison; if the Joneses get a new swimming pool, I’m going to ask if I can swim in it, not get one of my own. But I have to admit, thanks to the iPhone 5, my iPhone 3 seems about as cool as two cups and a string.

I’m all for the invention and improvement of cool electronics. But doesn’t it seem like we’re doing pretty well on smart phones? Couldn’t we use some of that creativity and brain power on other things, besides phones that no one even uses for actual audible conversation anymore? Surely the geniuses in the world don’t all work for Apple, but even if they do, maybe they could take a break on phones and personal electronics for awhile. Let’s send them out into the world, like missionaries. Even after my most-famous-to-date blog about Chick-fil-A , I’m still pulling out non-waffley steak fry potato ends. There were 3 of them in the small order I had just yesterday. I bet the folks over at Apple could probably come up with something that would take care of that problem. And since it’s List Wednesday, after they get finished at Chick-fil-A, here are a few other places I’d like them to take their game:

WalMart, to work on the weight sensor under the bag I place my item in at self-checkout. It’s really only a matter of time before I snap and shout, “YES, I DID PUT THE ITEM IN THE BAG.” My kids probably hope they’re not there with me when it happens. I bet the engineers at Apple are so rich they don’t ever shop at WalMart, because if they did, surely they would have come up with a solution by now.

The AT&T Help Center. When a problem with our Internet connectivity or phone service arises, Clay and I actually argue about who is going to have to make the call. We even played rock, paper, scissors once. I lost. When you have to call in a problem to AT&T, it’s a guaranteed hour on the phone with someone you can’t understand. After being transferred around from operator to operator, repeating the same information multiple times, you are led through a series of you-fix-it-yourself-because-we-don’t-really-want-to-help-you steps. In the end, they tell you they’ve noted the problem on your account, will send someone out on Friday between the hours of 7 am and 5 pm, and if they have to actually come into the house, it’s going to cost you $50. I’m just saying maybe there’s a better system.

County roads in Midlothian, TX. When it gets up over 100 degrees, the roads on the way to my house melt. Literally. And then they are re-graveled the exact same way. Twice a year. This one is somewhat confusing to me, because I’m pretty sure some Apple employees live out here, and they haven’t done a thing about it. 

Ice cube makers. I appreciate a good practical joke, and the first time I drank from a glass with ice from an ice maker with half-moon shaped ice, I thought it was funny. Haha. A half-moon is also the same shape as your mouth, and sometimes when the mouth-shaped ice hits your mouth in just the right way, it makes the whole drinking process kind of precarious. But that was years ago, and I think we’ve all had our share of laughs and spills down the front of our shirts.  

Jeans. Good job, jean-makers, with the stretchy fabric you’re using these days. But could you please find a way to design them so that they will stay up? I’m pretty sure my waist is the biggest part of the whole jean-wearing portion of my body, so that’s not the issue. They fit my legs, but always gape along the waistband in the back. And I’ve been mooned enough times in recent years to know that it’s not just me.

Ironing boards. Has anyone ever owned an ironing board that doesn’t make that terrible screeching noise when you open and close it? Anyone? That’s what I thought. If there were an ironing board 5…now that’s something I’d get in line for.

While we’re making a list and all, what else should the geniuses at Apple take a crack at?

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