Entertaining Snacks and other reasons I don’t like to go to the grocery store

Clay: “I think that in some cultures, preparing breakfast is high on the list of duties of the maternal figure.”

Me: “My guess is those cultures don’t have Pop Tarts.” 

I actually do like to cook. It’s the planning that cooking takes that has become a burden to me. As your kids get older, you never know who, if anyone, will be home for dinner. Brandon and Abby both have jobs, so it has been rare that all 4 of us are home for a meal at the same time this summer. Besides that, when you plan actual menus, the grocery store experience becomes a whole thing, not just a dash down the Pop Tart aisle. You have to focus.

It is rare I get home from a trip to the grocery store without some kind of omission (I forgot to get toilet paper and we’re completely out), or unnecessary addition (Oops, we already had an unopened extra-large jar of Peter Pan Peanut Butter). I blame it on the distractions involved in the grocery shopping experience. I can do that, because it’s List Wednesday. So here they are –

4 grocery store distractions that you can blame for wanting to eat out.

Empty stomach. They say you shouldn’t go grocery shopping when you’re hungry. I don’t know why. When I head to Walmart on an empty stomach, I typically come home a hero. Still, it can be a distraction. It’s hard to focus on the benefits of kale when you’re hungry and about to hit the aisle where they keep the Twinkies and Ding Dongs.

entertaining snacksFalse advertising. I saw this sign and it drew me in, so I went to check it out. When I peeked inside and saw there was nothing particularly entertaining about the freezer section, I realized I had been duped. Either that, or I misunderstood the sign’s meaning. I’m not gonna lie; it took a good 3-5 minutes for me to let go of my disappointment.

Cart traffic. Outside of common decency, there are no rules here. No line down the center of the row to keep carts on the correct side. No limit to number of family members who are allowed to travel with, in, or around a cart. No posted cart-maneuvering instructions at the end of each aisle to prevent collisions. No licenses for driving carts required. And I will tell you this – there are few things more painful than taking a grocery cart to the Achilles. At that point, you might as well just leave your kale and head to Chick-fil-A.

The double pass. It’s hard to know what to do when you run into someone you know at the grocery store. When you first see them and cross paths in aisle 2, you share pleasantries and go on your way. No problem. But invariably, it’s going to happen again a few minutes later in aisle 3, and then it’s just awkward all the way around. What is proper decorum in this situation? Do you avert your eyes and pretend you don’t see them? Do you say hello a second time? Do you tell them about the Entertaining Snacks?

I’m sure there are more, but everyone is home tonight and I need to go finish cooking dinner…unless I forgot something when I was at the grocery store earlier today, in which case, we’re going out:)

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