For the Winter Olympic suggestion box

I feel bad for Bob Costas. There probably aren’t many worse situations in which to get pink eye than when you’re the lead commentator for the Olympics. Maybe when you’re getting married or competing in the Miss America pageant, but that’s it. Let’s face it; Bob has had a rough go of it. Take the first night of this year’s coverage, for example. He kept referring to the Russian president simply as “Putin.” I’ve noticed that since then, he has prefaced that unfortunate last name with “Mr.” or “President” every time. That’s probably a wiser choice, and one made clear to Bob Costas by his grandchildren, if I had to guess. It doesn’t matter how many times you hear the name “Vladimir Putin,” it’s funny. When Costas announced, “Putin on the world stage,” I was afraid the teenager in my house might never recover.

But other than the misfortunes of Bob Costas, those USA sweaters, and of course the ski jumps, I’ve had a hard time finding things in these Winter Olympics to entertain me. You might remember our talk about that two years ago, but the Summer Olympics just seem to have more pizzazz.

So maybe a good use of List Wednesday would be to offer a few suggestions to the Olympic committee. Someone please make sure this list gets in the right hands.

Just a few ideas to help make the Winter Olympics better:

468670125-693X520Snow skiers dress like figure skaters. I don’t know, I just think it would be fun to see Shaun White take the half-pipe in the military style of Maxim Trankov.

The sport of curling had some added element of a wild polar bear on the ice, or having to sweep those brooms through a ring of fire.

The athletes in the mogul event were mic’d up…because “Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!” 

Speed skaters have to take off their skates and run the final lap in Nike’s. It’s not because I want to see people fall. 

Male figure skaters wear beards. Think Duck Dynasty on Ice. I’m just trying to help, guys.

Dogsled races. I saw that movie Iron Will one time, and it seemed a lot harder than sledding down a track in a bodysuit, and far more interesting than cross-country skiing.

Chili cook-off. Just because I haven’t worked out the logistics yet doesn’t mean its a bad idea.

Driving. I’ve never really understood auto racing, but I believe I could get into watching people drive around if the course was covered in ice. Everyone likes a sport that’s relatable and speaks to the experiences of the common man; I mean, just look at synchronized swimming.

Dodge(snow)ball. U-S-A! U-S-A!

What ideas do you have to add?

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