You may not be aware, but Father’s Day was a hard sell for a few decades. Since I’m all about higher learning here on the blog, I looked it up. It was first celebrated in Spokane, Washington, in 1910, because someone’s justice-driven daughter said, “Hey, whoa whoa whoa. If moms get a day where everyone gets all sentimental and buys them stuff, then dads should, too” (loosely paraphrased). Anyway, after that first observance, it disappeared into relative obscurity for more than two decades. It’s probably because they didn’t have Pinterest, and seriously…it’s really hard to come up with good gift ideas for dads.
Take my dad, for instance. When I ask him what he wants for Father’s Day, it’s almost a guarantee he’ll say, “socks.” And he means it. Now I’m not saying that pulling on a new pair of socks isn’t a joyful experience, because it is. But I don’t want to give socks as a gift. Buy your own socks. That’s what I always say. Another problem with Father’s Day is that dads, as a rule, don’t want family members out spending money willy-nilly. There are important things to buy, like socks. In fact, I think a “Nobody ask dad for any money day” might have been embraced more readily than Father’s Day. But I wasn’t blogging back then, or breathing, so no one asked me.So what do you do for your dad when you’re over the age of 12 and your handprint on…anything…isn’t cute anymore? Don’t ask me, because I don’t know. But I can help with what not to do for dad this year. It’s List Wednesday, ya’ll.
Really Bad Father’s Day Ideas:
. Courageous movie marathon. Gather the whole family together and watch the movie, Courageous, multiple times. You can even prepare some questions for discussion. Here are a few ideas:
Dad, name an adjective that expresses how you’re feeling about yourself right now.
In the first showing of Courageous today, we noticed that you looked like you were about to cry. Talk about that.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how much would you rather be playing golf?
2. Grill Sargent Apron. I’m not sure it has enough pockets. If you do buy this apron for your dad, though, I would like for you to invite me over for your next cookout where he is the chef. I promise I won’t write a blog about it. But I can’t make any promises about Facebook statuses, Tweets, or picture uploads and videos sure to go viral. P.S. That picture is misleading. No way anyone wearing that apron would also own a v-neck, chinos, and Fossil watch.
3. Volunteer your husband to sing the special music for Sunday’s church service. You have three solid choices to pick from here: Butterfly Kisses (Dave Carlisle), I Wanna Be Just Like You (Philips, Craig, and Dean) or I’ll Dance with Cinderella (Steven Curtis Chapman). Be sure to alert the video guy to capture the emotion on his face to show on the giant screens when he gets to the part that in Butterfly Kisses that goes, “All the precious time like the wind the years go by, precious butterfly spread your wings and fly.” He’ll want to remember that forever.
4. Whiskey and Tobacco Cologne. I don’t even know what to say about this. Except that it’s only $19.99. And there’s probably a pocket for it in the Grill Sargent Apron.
5. Have lunch at Le’ Madeleine. It’s hot outside, so this might be tempting. I mean, who wouldn’t want to take her children and husband to a nice, cool, air conditioned place that serves Quiche Lorraine and Spinach Pochette? Plus, it’s almost guaranteed there will be no wait on this particular Sunday. But I’d just like to throw this out there – this move is sort of like taking your mom to Hooter’s on Mother’s Day.
6. The Home Urinal. I’m not saying it’s not aesthetically pleasing. I mean, gosh, there are three colors to choose from and everything. I’m just saying it looks difficult to clean. Also, it may be a gift you buy on Single Dude’s Day, if we ever decide to have one of those.
7. Share goals. Father’s Day is a great day to do a lot of talking and vision casting for the future of your family. Or it’s a great day to sit in silence watching the NBA finals. It’s definitely one of the two.
Okay, that’s all I’ve got. If you’re looking for good ideas, you should probably be over on Pinterest.
P.S. Happy Father’s Day, dad. I love you!